Growing up I was the quiet type, I never included myself in any school activities or hanging out with classmates outside of school. I was very much attached to film. I guess that was the reason for excluding my self from others and especially the ones who loved and cared about me.
9th grade was very difficult. All my life I was in a Catholic school, and going to the Met, a public school scared me brainless. I was so nervous, nervous about how people were going to treat me. Opening up to people was definitely not my thing. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to people about my personal life.
Getting accepted into Summer Search is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. I finally broke my shell open and began to express all of my feelings with my mentor Amee. By not letting anyone know what was going on made me feel stressed to the point I didn’t realize it was affecting my relationships with other people. By opening up to Amee, I learned that there are people who care and enjoy listening.
Going to India this past summer has helped me physically and emotionally in so many ways. It was a little difficult in the beginning for me because I wasn’t familiar with the people and the culture, especially their food. But little by little, I started getting accustomed to my surroundings, as well as addressing my group when I had a problem or disagreed with an agreement.
I was feeling a little “iffy” about the trek through the Himalayan Mountains, and not being able to pull through. I hated Outward Bound the summer before and I know for a fact, I didn’t want to experience the same emotions and weakness’ again. I guess my instructors sensed my fear, and gave me a few options. One of them was: going back to Delhi and meet with another group. But I realized I didn’t come this far to give up, and ditch my group that I already started to get along with. When I opened up about how much I was struggling, they understood and supported me. So I ended up remaining in Ladakh and go forward with the trek. I thought to myself “if I completed 21 days of Outward Bound, 17 days wouldn’t be so bad after all”.
One other thing that I was able to open up about with my group was a gap I had in my life that I always had. My Indian father was that gap. Being in India opened my eyes to a lot of new things. Such as, the language studies, living with a family in the Himalayan region, backpacking, going to the Taj Mahal and so much more. All these experiences made me feel like I was with my dad, but sometimes I wonder why I miss and want to be with someone I never met. “Where There Be Dragons” has helped me close my gap and expand my horizons, and this trip wouldn’t have been possible without Summer Search.
Labels: gaps, india, summer search, where there be dragons
